Imperfect Gratitude
“There’s a crack in everything. That’s how light gets in.”
- Leonard Cohen
As we head into Thanksgiving this week, we are likely to encounter a holiday the likes of which we haven’t experienced before now. Our attempts at feeling grateful may be supplanted by feelings of uncertainty, fear and anxiety. Under such circumstances, we are prone to not being at our best selves as we alter or even cancel our normal celebratory plans. It’s understandable if gratitude is hard to find this year.
But it doesn’t need to be this way. We would all do well to consider how to take the rough edges we experience in these challenging times and focus on nurturing a spirit of gratitude, even for those rough edges. Perhaps we can find ways to make gratitude a sustainable mindset that guides our lives through this season of uncertainty.
Researchers at the University of Southern California are studying the science of gratitude and have found that gratitude can actually boost our physical and mental well-being. Gratitude, they have found, can help us cope with stress and build stronger relationships. “Benefits associated with gratitude include better sleep, more exercise, reduced symptoms of physical pain…and a host of other things we associate with better health,” according to USC’s neuroscientist Glenn Fox. “It’s similar to working out, in that the more you practice, the easier it is to feel grateful when you need it.”
Columnist Arthur Brooks offers practical suggestions of how a mindset of gratitude can actually lead to greater well-being and life satisfaction (New York Times, Nov 21, 2015). In times of frustration and stress, Brooks suggests that by focusing less on what troubles us and more on the opportunities that await us, we develop a healthier mindset to turn an otherwise downward spiral of negativity into hopeful aspirations and a greater sense of well-being.
He suggests a simple strategy. “Start with internal gratitude; giving thanks privately.” Follow with “external gratitude;” giving thanks publicly, through a note, an email, or a conversation. Top it off , Brooks suggests, “with gratitude for the mundane; the smell of the air on a fall day or hearing the tune of a favorite song.”
Fr. Dennis Hamm of Creighton University sees this notion of a mindset of gratitude as a deeper spiritual discipline that acknowledges and gives meaning to our struggles and imperfections. Review each day with thankfulness, he says, giving attention to the gifts of “existence, work, relationship, food” and yes, even “challenges”; being grateful for every gift we encounter (America, May 14, 1994).
The late Leonard Cohen perhaps summed it up best when he reminded us that our imperfections and challenges can actually be the vessels that can shed light, meaning and purpose in our lives: “There’s a crack in everything. That’s how light gets in.”
I’m hopeful that as we celebrate this season of Thanksgiving, as challenging and difficult as it may be, we’ll find ways to nurture a sustainable expression of gratitude. Whether we focus on the science or the spirit, I trust that our space will be filled with the light of gratitude, shining through the cracks, illuminating our way.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Edward Hollinger
November 25, 2020